MacGyver

This man can fix anything.  He can attach a stick to a pull rope and make that Lawn Boy last another 22 years.  He can patch tires, reseal mower tires and probably manufacture tires.  He has the interchangeable parts catalog memorized.  He knows substitutes for car oil, drywall compound, cocoa and face cream.

He cooks.  He cleans.  He repairs, fixes, restores, updates.  Sometimes he puts big ol' light switches on the side of the TV when the electronic off/on switch fails.  He knows how to save energy, which light bulbs to use, how often to change the furnace filters and to save the original electronic  boxes and the Warranty manuals in case the apperatus fails.  And it will.

He has his 1968 Army uniform in case there's ever a fabric shortage and we can't buy new clothes.  He has his dad's Army dress coat, his own combat boots and every radio and stereo he ever owned.  He is not a saver, he says.  He has the 1950s Montgomery Ward garden tiller that his dad maintained and passed on to Himself.  It should be in the Montgomery Ward Hall of Fame.

The other day after 9" of snow, the Satellite TV was out.  No signal.  Well, how well do you work laying under 9" of snow.  Usually, you'd take a broom and go knock that snow off but our satellite sits up 3 stores tall.  Uh Huh, we aren't climbing up there in this weather!  But Himself . . . oh, er, I mean MacGuyer knew just what to do. He got that ol' BB gun and dinged that dish once on the left.  The snow dropped off.  He pumped up that air gun and then he dinged that dish once on the right.  There went the rest of the snow.  Yeaaaaaaa!  the World is saved!  All's right with the world!  We have TV again! 

Now, if only Himself could figure out how to keep the squirrels out of the bird feeders, his life would be replete!