35 years

We were young. I was a month shy of 20; he was almost 23 -- an older man! But he was handome and suave -- and he had a good job! We hit it off. Okay, I was swept off my feet, even tho the night we met he tried to convince me that he was a priest! I saw through that line but not all the rest; he proposed and we "ran off" and got married.

We only ran to the next county and were married in the Methodist Church with his friend, Hollis, to stand up with him and Little Jan, with me. We chose the next county because we didn't think anyone would get the Adair County newspaper and in those days the marriage licenses were published weekly -- and sometimes hit the print before the actual wedding. Later, we found out his Grandmother Antonia did indeed take the paper but, unusual for her, she hadn't read the marriage license entries!

We met with the minister ahead of time and were "counseled". The minister gave us both one piece of advice. To me, he advised, when my husband stomps off muttering, DO NOT ask him to repeat what he said. And his bit of wisdom offered up to my husband -- has been lost to the annals of time! However, one more thing he told us that I remember is that it is NOT always a 50 / 50 partnership -- that marriage sometimes requires one partner to put in more then their 50%. Sometimes it is 25 / 75 or 75 /25. It should equal out over the long haul tho -- it should average 50 / 50.

I sewed my flocked white, A-line dress, packed my bags, pots and pans, linens and my pillow and on July 17, 1970, he picked me up in his '64 black Plymouth Fury and off we drove to our destiny.

It was midafternoon on a hot summer day. His cousin Mike heard the ol' man was getting married. Not willing to believe it without seeing it, Mike came along on good intention and no invite and the wedding party was the minister, the bride and groom, two attendants and Mike, alone, in the front pew.

After a trip to Shagbark to announce our marriage to the folks and then to Prescott to meet my father-in-law for the first time and be reintroduced to his mother (I had met her once, on the street), we left for our honeymoon. Arriving at his apartment, he carried me over the threshold and thus we started our married life -- in a one room efficiency apartment in Sioux City, Iowa with a hide-a-way bed and the kitchen(ette) in the former closet. We had 6 honeymoon days together before he left me. So, he wooed me, whisked me away 180 miles from home and Mother, then abandoned me and went away to summer Guard camp! Don't know how he finangled it but he got a weekend pass and showed up on my (his) doorstep unannounced in the middle of the night. But that is a story for another day.

And, 35 years later, here we are, 4 children, 2 sons-in-laws, a daughter-in-law, 5 grandchildren, 3 states, 5 or 6 towns and several professions later and I am reminded of a line from a favorite book, Except for Me and Thee. The father, at the holiday dinner table, looks at the family seated all around and to paraphrase Jess, "I've been too busy to notice -- but look what I have begun."

Miss Gabrielle Nadeen, 3 years old!

The party girl is in the middle of her third birthday party and enjoying every minute of it! There was no nap for this girl, on this day -- she wasn't going to miss out on one single minute!

Sweet Gabrielle is articulate, bright and pretty much knows her own mind. She is a tiny little thing and likes everything to do with being a Princess, even naming her new kitten, Princess. Gabby likes dress up, Nana's high heel shoes and songs -- she is a singer, already knowing the words and melodies to many songs. (The other night I sang "Honey, you can't love one" to her only three times. I wonder if this week she is going around singing "la de da, poor boy, whoowhoo"! ) Gabby joins in the play with the other children but then, later, she may be away, by herself making her own entertainment and dreams.
Looking at her with her boa, I can imagine Gabrielle in 20 years, up on stage, singing and dancing!
Gabrielle is graceful and agile. She runs like the wind. She is gentle and caring with brother Joe one minute, furious, scrappy and fearless the next. Gabbydeen loves animals and when Dakota was injured, nursed and tended him (Mama found him covered and smothered under Gabrielle's tender care! )

Gabrielle, Nana knows that you will have fun and adventure in the years ahead. Should you grow up to dance and sing, become a physician, a veterinarian or astronaut, I know that you will have fun and good times along the way. Your sense of humor, cheerfulness, determination and your beautiful blue eyes just spell out achievement and success! Nana loves you.

July 4th, 2005

I love it when we are all together and the Hofs enjoy the 4th of July as much, or more, than they do Christmas. And we were all together this day, July 3, 2005.

Here the bairns and Kenna are sitting around the porch, having their picnic lunch. The fresh air and exercise has given them all an appetite and they "chow down". For a few minutes, they are all in one place, all connected, before they jump up and run off to enjoy the place called "the cabin". I hope the cabin stays with them and when they are grown, they look back fondly on their days spent at Nana and PaPa's cabin.

Madeline, Gabrielle, Kenna, Morghan, Joe and Jack, from left to right.

Johanna Rosanna Danna

or Banana. Or Joanitor. This girl has so many nicknames that I didn't know which to use. Being the baby of the family, she was destined to be teased and picked on. And usually, she's a good sport about it -- and always gives as good as she gets.

We were all so excited about the new baby's arrival, that 5-yr old Erica shared the news at her kindergarten Show and Tell. The teacher told me later, it was the first time bashful Erica had something to share!

'Anna, she was to me, as a toddler and I delighted in the days of her youth. We were in the grocery store then and my flexible work hours allowed me to spend time with her. We loved her, played babydoll with her and the older children protected her when I would try to discipline her.

When she was five, the slightly older neighbor girl learned to ride her bike so Johanna, determined sprite, learned to ride hers. She spent hours on the front sidewalk, wreaking, crashing, waving away her daddies offer to help. I was afraid that folks would think I had been beating her; she was scrapped and scratched and bruised. She did ride that bike, tho, and she did it on her own.Now, a young adult, she celebrates her 26th year. Creative, perceptive and saucy. Still determined. An artist, she paints, makes jewelry, likes pottery and tile and rock. She loves tag sales and bargains.

Hannah, Happy 26th! May you find your dreams. I know that when you do, you will do it "on your own"; you will do it your way! Love, Mom

Anthony P. Fontana

Tony, husband to Kristy, chef, music lover, fisherman and camper had a birthday in April.
It seems whenever I take a photo of Tony he is interacting with his nieces and nephews. In this photo, Morghan, Jack and, way back there, only a speck of white, Maddie Mae are chasing Tony in retaliation for a water balloon, I imagine. Or for the pure love of running.
Tony, may this year be interesting, entertaining, rewarding and challenging. Happy 31st birthday!

The bairns

At Easter, Craig took two photos of all the bairns. The first one has most of the grandbabes looking at the camera and I love it. But I love this one too as you can see the character and personalities -- and energy! -- coming through. Morghan, wrinkling her nose, is holding tight to Joe, as she has been asked to do. Joe, good naturedly, is thinking about his next move. Gabrielle has been walking around in high heels and may just be counting the minutes until she can get those silver slippers on again. Madeline and Jack have been exploring or playing some game and Maddie has her stick and Jack his, his, well I think that is a rain gutter! Wonder what that game was all about!

I had been told but it was not until I had grandchildren of my own that I really knew it -- that to a "Nana", each precious babe is unique and special. The love I have for these five souls fills my heart to overflowing. I love each of these sweet babes "to pieces".

Once upon a time . . .

there was a child ready to be born. The child asked God, "They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow. How am I going to live there being so small and helpless?" God replied, "Among the angels, I'll choose one for you. Your guardian angel will be waiting for you and will take care of you." The child further inquired, "But tell me God, here in heaven I don't have to do anything but sing and smile to be happy."

God said, "Your angel will sing for you and will smile for you every day. And you will feel your guardian angel's love and feel very happy."

Again, the child asked, "And how am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me if I don't know the language?"

God said, "Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever hear and, with much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to speak."

"I've heard that on earth there are bad people. Who will protect me?"

God said, "Your guardian angel will defend you even if it means risking its life."

At that moment there was much peace in heaven, but the voices from Earth could be heard and the child hurriedly asked, "God, if I am to leave now, please tell me my guardian angel's name."

"Her name is not important, child. You will simply call her Nana."

(borrowed and adapted from e-mail)

Maddie Mae, child

Madeline Mae is two years old! We gathered together on April 24 to celebrate her second birthday. Maddie wasn't so sure about the whole thing. She let me hold her and then would point out the door to my car, "go bye bye; go bye bye". And Nana wanted to whisk her away to the park or to Nana's house but didn't, of course, because it was Madeline Mae Frey's time to be celebrated.

Madeline is usually a gentle, mellow little girl but she has moments where she puts her foot down and says "No!" and times when one can see a bit of sass in her beautiful blue eyes. Every little girl and woman needs a bit of sass and, on occasion, a strong will lest she be run over, intimidated and taken advantage of. Madeline, may you grow into a sassy, strong, caring woman!

Several weeks after Maddie's birthday, during Morghan's dance recital, I took Jack and Madeline out into the beautiful cool, spring evening. Like colts put out to pasture, these two kicked up their heels and ran and pranced and laughed. It was there, in the twilight with the evening breeze in our faces and the smell of fresh mown grass in the air, I saw Madeline's long legs race to keep pace with Jack and realized that she had left babyhood behind. She is a child, a lovely, long-lashed, quick to smile, twinkle in her eye, "big" girl.

Maddie Mae, Happy 2nd year. May all your days be as carefree and fresh as that spring evening in May. Love, Nana

Madeline Mae, Safety Baby

Madeline had scraped her knees -- both of them. Her Mama, feeling sorry for her, decked her out in this safety gear. Notice that Madeline is applying chapstick so that even her lips will be protected!

Craig Dale Hofmeister 

My son, Craig

"The father is always a Republican toward his son, and his mother's always a Democrat. "-- Robert Frost

Craig celebrated his 29th birthday back in February. The "girls", his sisters, always tease me about catering to this male child, "spoiling" him. I deny it, I give instances, I proclaim my innocence. I loved, and love, all four of my children deeply and well, I think. At all times I tried to be an "equal opportunity" mother and at Christmas when the children were small, I figured and budgeted and could come up with appoximately the same number of packages for each child and spend equal amounts, down to within pennies, so that the gifts were all equal -- and fair.

However, that said, a mother's relationship with her son is different than with daughters just as the relationship with one daughter differs from that of another daughter due to personalties, interests and character. And now that Erica has a son, and Traci, (and hopefully one day, if they so wish, Kristy and Johanna will) they will know the bond that exists between mother and son.

So, Happy 29th year, my son. May your son give you the rewards and blessings that you have given me (with maybe a few less worries and gray hairs)!! And would you like those meatballs WITHOUT onions? Love, Ma

Making the decision to have a child - it's momentous.
It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. - Elizabeth Stone

Gabrielle and Joe

Pappy and I had an opportunity to spend a couple of days with the Kansas City sweeties. Gabrielle is 2-3/4 years and Joe is 19 months. These two bouncing bundles of energy are bright, articulate and good humored. They are also athletic and quick. They can be at the refrigerator door before I even know I'm going to open it. Joe knows all the tricks to climbing including pulling out the broiler door on the range to give him a boost up. Gabrielle will tell you without hesitation what she wants and thinks. I was waiting for The Incredibles to be done playing on the DVD so we could watch a carefree movie like Little Mermaid or The Carebears. While I was out of the room, Gabrielle just restarted The Incredibles. This girl knows what she wants! And when I talked about a time-out chair, Joe ran and was going to bring one from his room! They are fun! And they don't miss a beat -- the Kansas City Sweeties.

Kansas City Sweeties 

Erica had a birthday on Wednesday. Wife, busy mother of 3, program director -- we just this evening find time to honor her new age in some small way. We'll share a meal and homemade chocolate pie and I'll remember the day of her birth, watching her and Kristy in the days of just pretend, baby dolls and carving pumpkins. I'll remember the first day of school and the enchantment of Christmas mornings, her enthusiasm for new brother and baby sister -- and all the days of her youth. I rejoice in the woman I see before me today. Bright, capable, loving and oh! so politically interested and articulate! From her journal:

posted March 01, 2005 01:02 PM
"Dodgeball is my new analogy to describe parenting. Somedays I feel like I'm standing in the middle of my house with me dodging balls left and right. Balls would be anything like a daughter who won't poop, a very moody son, a dirty diaper, a sick child, meal time, doctor's appointments, birthday parties, bed time, bathtime, ANYTHING that happens in a given day. Now sometimes I can catch the ball that is thrown at me and other times, I either drop the ball or get smacked upside the head with it. Most of the time, the balls are coming at me all at the same time. Somedays I just feel that it is a constant stuggle?? I don't think that's the word I want to use but it is constant. As a parent, you CANNOT let your guard down for one instant. These kids just keep at you, and everyday throw new, different balls just to keep you on your toes. Every day is a new challenge. Just when you think you have them figured out, a ball comes from nowhere and smacks you upside the head."
Well said! But I promise, in the years ahead you will look back wistfully and wish for these days again. How fast the years go by, Erica. You are now 32, the same age I was only yesterday!
Happy 32nd birthday, Love Mom

Erica's 32nd birthday 

Morghan's vanity 

Vanity - an old-fashioned word

I like the word vanity, used to mean "dressing table". I tried to find how and why a dressing table came to be called a "vanity". I imagine the trail leads back to France but I could find nothing in the internet to substantiate my fancy. This is Morghan's vanity above. I think that this table has an art deco feel. Art Deco originated in the 1920 - 30s so this vanity could be 75 years old.

Just by chance, there is a picture of a younger Morghan reflected in the mirror of the vanity.

I'm infatuated . . .

with painting furniture. Just give me a piece of old, well-worn, well-loved furniture and a can of paint and I am content. I am anxious for spring to get here with garage sales and flea markets because I need two more pieces. I'm looking for a vanity or dresser for Miss Gabbydeen and a book case or smaller desk for Joseph A. Morghan Grace's vanity is pictured above. Jack G. Has a blue desk with a baseball knob to match his NY Yankee room and Madeline Mae has a white dresser soon to be adorned by a big bow and trailing flowers. Meanwhile, I will paint the Victorian plant stand from which someone tried to strip the varnish -- to no avail. I may even repaint the old wooden high chair lovingly made out of three different woods and now painted yellow, decorated with multi-colored crayon marks. Or maybe . . . well, there, you see I am infatuated!

Birthday Girlie Girl 

Happy Birthday, Morghan Grace

Morghan had a great, fine birthday celebration. She hosted her party at the bowling alley, invited several friends and aunts and uncle and cousins, and grandpas and grandmas. And then she fed us pizza and Princess Morghan birthday cake!

Morghan is really into a Princess phase right now and I think each gift she received was of a Princess theme. Before the evening was out, she was dressed, bejeweled and crowned, and named Princess for a Day.